ok so  if u didnt already know im goin through a really tuff time right now. early saterday morning my sister was almost raped. the guy is 24 and shes 15. he tore her up so bad there that it was reaally swolen and now the swelling is down it still looks really bad and probably wont ever be normal again. yes ive said many times that i hate me lil sis but shes my sis and i do love her and she didnt deserve this. now i, thinking that nathan was my  best friend, told him what happened and he called sarennah a lier and said that she did it for attention adn that she hurt herself to make it look belivable. this realy upset me to the point where i was crying and so i tiold mom what happened and she went to publix and went off on him in front of anyon e who was near him. i think that yes he deserved this but i already have problems with people at school i dont need him yelling at me or my sis for what my mom did. but im afraid ill feel the rath of him anyway. i want to talk to casey but i know she wont believe a word i say so really whats the point. i hope that nate doesnt turn robert against me cuz i love my robert and wouldnt have him to turn to anymore. oh and mother said that if i forgive nate for this sheel be pissed at me and that if i talk to him shell be pissed at me and if he talks to me shell get him for slander and if he talks to me and i dont tell her but she finds out from someone else shell get him for slander and beat me. sounds fun huh. i want to get out of high school already and i want to ge5t amancipated(sp?) cuz i just cant wait til august to get out and i have a feeling that if i tried to leave mom wouldnt let me. life is hell and i hate it so much.

new xanga this name was [[suprise]] something to do with what nate used to say to me. ................bleeding_to_get_out

people are so fucking dumb i swear didnt ur mother teach u any manners! i know mine didnt thats why i messed up. yes i made dumb choices but so does everyone else look at the person sitting next to you. do u really know them like you think you do.... well guess what you dont. we all have our dirty sercrets habbits and lies. ur the biggestet POSER if u say u havent lied about anything more than stealing a lolli pop when u were 5. so guess what things didnt go ur way the love of ur life is a loser so much so that he has to go and put moves on other girls. well its not exactly the other girls fault. the lover boy knows damn good and well that the other girl has a mending broken heart as it is and know how fragile she is. yet he does it anyway knowing the stain that its gonna leave. you know this person...hes ur best friend............ u know what hes done in the past........SO open up ur prety little eyes and see what he can and will do again and ull see that im not lying. if i were lying what would i think id get out of it. nothing. so the reason id lie? no answer i didnt think so. what can i say lifes a bitch and so are the people that live it.

high school [[drama factory]] so dumb not worth anything.

world kiss my ass

dosy im sorry for the shit........... saying no more.

sickness fills me. needs to go away so that i can be grumpy just because and not actually ......physicaly......have a reason to be in pain

i need to go to work and make money so that i can spend it at earthday birthday cant wait 8 more days! freak!

yea sister went to a friends house mom went to ball field and little old me no where to go and no way to get there.......... dad was/is buzzed and he was annoying talking to much and he was sitting uncomefortably close and well it was uncomefortable so i called nathans mom and she came to get me and now im spending the night. kinda weird dont know where ill be sleeping with the situation going on here that i will not discuss...........

thinkin bout actually getting me a tattoo. im afraid though so i think i might not get the one in the spot i want at first. just get a really little one in a most nonsensitive place which on me will be harn to find.

ive given up on trying to be jons friend. as much as it hurst to finaly let go the cling was unhealthy. everytime i tried to just hang out with him hed say something like only if we fuck. i mean come on no.

moms ex wants to move back in the house. if he comes i go. dont know where but somewhere out. im back for like 3 weeks and despritly want to leave again. seriosly need to win the lottery and just take off......not with my luck.......

hopen that life after high school will be better. more work hours........dif job maybe...........less drama and gossip. xgossipxkillsx

anywho my lizard is finally growing. yay! its so pretty.

night time

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